Relationships: Sense of Time

My boyfriend and I broke up a little over two weeks ago.

*pause*

I had to stop just now and look at the sentence above again. REALLY look at it.

Two weeks.

It’s only been two weeks.

It feels like a lifetime.

I hate being this person. I hate feeling this empty. This numb.

People think I am a strong person. He used to tell me I was a strong person. He used to say he envied that about me. I don’t feel strong now.

People always tell you to move on after a break-up. Take care of yourself. Improve yourself. Work. Keep yourself occupied. Spend time with your friends. With the people you love. Each day will get easier. You’ll move on. In my past experience, all of this is true.

You accept. You grow. You learn. And you move on.

But guess what.

It doesn’t always work.

I am doing all of those things, but they aren’t even making a dent in the emptiness.

“Time heals all wounds” they say.

True, it does. Time works wonders. But what happens when you have no sense of time?

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks and I feel like it’s been a lifetime.

I’ve been in relationships before. I’ve loved before. But this – this was different. This was the deepest connection I have ever had with someone. This was the deepest and truest love I have ever felt. He was best friend I’ve ever had.

But he didn’t feel it. At least not the way I did. And it wasn’t enough for him.

So now we are both alone.

But I can’t imagine he feels the emptiness I am feeling right now.

I know it’s time to let go. I know it’s time to move on.

But I don’t know how.

I am not strong.